Ridz, Tian Hong and myself were talking about boyfriends and girlfriends and Valentine’s Day and all when we suddenly draw the conclusion that there will come a day when everyone will eventually not get attached and the human race might just come to standstill. Sounds exaggerated? Well, not really if there is such a thing as “real love”. =P

One of us, I shall not mention which of the guys, related the following incident:

  • Guy has a crush on a girl. Well, it’s only a crush and nothing happens. It’s when you idolise somebody
  • Then the guy may move on to the “like” stage – when the guy will be attracted to the girl but he is not sure if it’s the kind of “boy-like” feeling. You know? Puppy love?
  • Then the guy moves on to the “love” stage. That’s when the guy is really concerned about the girl and makes sure that she gets the best and is really happy. Now since no guy would ever say that he’s the best for the girl, he’d move into this cyclic thing when he starts thinking that there will be someone else better for her. Eventually, the girl doesn’t get attached if everyone who likes/loves her start thinking the same way.

Going by this logic all the girls who are loved will eventually not be attached and all the guys… will just remain single.

Quite sad to think of things like this when it’s just less than 1 week before Valentine’s Day =P



Reader's Comments

  1. chillycraps | February 9th, 2008 at 10:29 pm

    must be tian hong… he said the same thing to me before =P

    I always go thru the 3rd stage, thinking that there are better guys out there for the girl =P

  2. nicole | February 9th, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    I think, not only the guys thinks like that, the girls also think likewise.

  3. Miccheng | February 9th, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    If only we could develop some mind-reading devices or skills. You know… like Empaths.

    Then again, the easiest way to break the stalemate is to just pluck up the courage to ask. And perhaps be like Johnny Rico of “Starship Troopers” – “I’ll take the job. Until i die or you find someone better!”

    Ah… How true…

  4. Daphne Maia | February 9th, 2008 at 11:15 pm

    if more guys around me actually think the way u described it in the third stage, i would have had less trouble in my life.

    lol.

  5. Yuhui | February 10th, 2008 at 9:37 am

    The main fallacy in the logic is in part 3: the guy not declaring his love because he thinks that there’s a better guy for her. No guy in love with a girl will let such a chance slip him by!

    It is more likely that the girl has indicated that she doesn’t like him and is waiting for something more, and that results in the stalemate.

    Anyway, the logic is also one-sided. What about girls taking the initiative?

  6. Tianhong | February 10th, 2008 at 11:24 am

    chillycraps: hey… did i? hmmmm

    Actually, to think that someone is better than you and can provide things better than you only spell out a problem. It means the guy has a low confidence.

    Of cos it doesn’t mean that even if you are better than others, you are the “better” one for her.

    In relationship, it’s not a zero sum game. Though many factors like ahem money or looks like ahem the infamous hongkong actor can affect a person’s decision.

    haha I think I will get flame for such a reply.

  7. Ian Timothy | February 10th, 2008 at 11:26 am

    If a guy really loves a girl, he will make the choice to be the best for the girl. You got to always assume if there is 50 dollars on the floor, and if you don’t pick it up and do something good with it like give it to the auntie who has no money to buy food living in that one room flat, some investment banker will pick it up to use it to buy beer and a pack of condoms for that one night stand.

    If you really love someone, then you got to decide if you have what it takes to be the best after making the choice. If you don’t, the honourable thing is to let go. If you know you can make it, or at least have the desire, then the right thing out of love would be to let the girl have the right to make the choice of choosing you. If she does, then, what’s the chinese phrase, ahh..never mind, basically once she chooses you, then you got to strive everyday to be the best for her and protect her.

    I think the guy who loves the girl got to stand up and be counted and protect the girl from others who just want notches on their wall.

  8. Paul | February 10th, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    Hm… tot action speaks louder than words. If he just go about thinking and not taking any action, he probably deserved being single. This pretty much apply to women too I guess, we all have to work for what we want in life. Real love included, else we’d all be dreaming.

  9. DK | February 10th, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    Complicated….

  10. Onlooker | February 10th, 2008 at 3:41 pm

    Men are like wine, The older(mature though some like me never grow up) they are the better the aftertaste.Women are like flower the longer they are in the vase….. Sound sexist,not really.Take your partner as an investment(1787 Chateau Lafite TH.J) give them room to grow(peak), go through the bad times together even if there is a heartbreak the experience can let you see better and choose wiser.
    Also Expose the wine (harsh environment, abuse, yeast) And they turn into vinegar(sour and sarcastic).
    PS. Take care of each other. Happy Valentines 🙂 (don’t buy roses and chocolate,cook for them guys and gals)

  11. a_x | February 10th, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    If the guy is really concerned about the girl, then he has to do something about it. He can’t make the best guy to fall in love with her, so he has to be the best guy himself. It’s within his power to transform himself. Not others.

    Bleah. What am I saying is just go for it. Most of the times, girls themselves do not know what they want.

  12. Jasa | February 10th, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    I WOULD say Im the best guy for the girl 😀

  13. Priss | February 10th, 2008 at 6:56 pm

    I think someone else pointed it out already, but the fallacy is this sentence

    ‘Now since no guy would ever say that he’s the best for the girl, he’d move into this cyclic thing when he starts thinking that there will be someone else better for her.’

    It even sounds like a lame excuse to break off with a girl “It’s me, it’s not you…..” hehe

    You wouldn’t doubt yourself or the relationship if you are in a happy relationship.

  14. Daphne Maia | February 10th, 2008 at 7:34 pm

    onlooker: men are like parking lots… all the good ones are taken, and the only ones left are the ‘handicap’ ones.

  15. Winnilicious | February 10th, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    Now I know why I am not attached yet. LOLx….

  16. deadpris » Blog Archive » Lame excuses people tell when they are not in love anymore. | February 10th, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    […] Example number 2 Then the guy moves on to the “love” stage. That’s when the guy is really concerned about the girl and makes sure that she gets the best and is really happy. Now since no guy would ever say that he’s the best for the girl, he’d move into this cyclic thing when he starts thinking that there will be someone else better for her. Eventually, the girl doesn’t get attached if everyone who likes/loves her start thinking the same way. […]

  17. Paddy Tan | February 11th, 2008 at 12:02 am

    Personally I think love is something strange and unique which at times go beyond logic. That is what makes it sweet and craving for many, including me. 🙂

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