In preparation for my English tests this weekend and next Tuesday, I spent almost every evening in the last one month preparing for the test. Yes, I know – it’s an English test and how wrong can you go with it? Well, the truth (self-proclaimed truth, at least) is that English is not a subject that we can fail but neither is it a test that we can score distinctions in. Very much thanks to the multi-cultural, multi-lingual society that we are in, Singlish has became extremely prevalent and it’s easy to get lost when you are already struggling with an evolving language.

Evolving? Yes, English is still evolving 🙂

10. You know the opening hours of the outlet that you frequent. For that matter, you probably know the opening hours of every outlet that you may frequent.

9. You are the first to get the latest time-limited edition of the bearista bear.

8. The barista knows your order of Tazo Chai Tea Latte, half water, half foam no milk. As a corollary, you probably end up ordering it as “For here, tall, 5 pumps Chai, half water, half foam, no milk Tazo Chai Tea Latte”.

7. You know the exact locations of the power points and zoom in to the tables next to them when you enter the store.

6. You know the sequence of songs that will be played.

5. The people next table waves to you when you arrive.

4. Instead of asking you to help them look after their bags while they are away, they smile at you while you nod.

3. The barista offers to let you sample some of the food in the fridge display.

2. Your drink comes as soon as you sit down, even before you order it.

And the number one sign…

1. The barista asks you “Why so late today?” (Colloquial for “Why are you so late today?”)

Alright. It’s time for me to go back to my mugging books.

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